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You Be The Wolf

by Janet Batch

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1.
what’s a girl like you doing here in this part of town if’n you drink half as good as you sing i bet you really throw ‘em down and you’re quite the package ain’tcha now the way you look in them jeans what you pushin’ a buck-twenty i’m telling you honey i’ve got an eye for these things and everybody’s watching me bein’ so sweet to you they’re on the edge of their seats waitin’ to see how you’re gonna choose and everybody’s noticing you ain’t pushin’ me away so if this thing goes south and you run your mouth you know what they’ll say well you talk a big game you’re one of them guys if you think you’re so slick why don’t you go pick on someone your own size and every woman in here’s been in my shoes before upstaged by some man with one eye on his hands and one eye on the door if i had a nickel for every line i’ve had to endure you can be sure i’d be getting on just fine if wishes were horses you can bet i would ride so fast and so far away from this bar and right out of this night it ain’t what you’re saying quite as much as your style and despite what you think i don’t need a drink and i ain’t gonna smile so quit talkin’ about my singin’ and keep your eyes off my jeans boy you oughta know that your quarter won’t work in my machine
2.
so skinny and so small nary a brain at all what i needed was a little space but you kept me deep inside and you wouldn’t let me ride and i saw the look that came across your face well it was a great relief when you stamped out the belief that i’d ever wanted anything at all but this thing inside of me i’m gonna cut it free the day you fall oh so little and so weak i knew that i ought not speak lest i wanted to see the back side of your hand i knew awfully young i better hold my tongue if i ever wanted to get myself a man who would treat me just like you yes he’ll tell me what to do and i bet he’ll never let me get outside to fly then i heard a noise it was the sound of my own voice whisperin’ goodbye every thing i’ve ever loved and every thing i’ve ever lost i’m gonna throw em in a deep dark hole with you i’m unbridled and uncautioned and i’m heading to the auction to bid on every pony yellow brown and blue i’ve been waiting on horses my whole life through well the black ones and the bays dapples and the grays going to get as many as i am able i’m gonna keep the meadow green and keep the water clean and in the evening head down to the stable and let ‘em have some oats and brush out all their coats and let their whinnying become a lullaby singing me to sleep sending me to dream into the night well i know of a place where i can let them race where the sumac grows in rows along the roadside through the thicket and the thistle i need only whistle and in a moment they’ll be back by my side and the honey bees are in the apple trees this is the only family i’ll ever need and when the day is done we’re gonna ride into the sun those ponies and me every thing i’ve ever loved and every thing i’ve ever lost i’m gonna throw ‘em in a deep dark hole with you i’ve been waiting on horses oh i’ve been waiting i’ve been waiting on horses my whole life through
3.
a younger woman might expect you to change i’ve grown accustomed to the way all the words they’ve said you let ‘em inside your head and you likely won’t make it to bed you’re worried about the radio does that sort of thing really make a man anyway you make it so simple you know that everybody else can understand and i’ll smile before i turn the dial and i’ll know that i’ve lost you for a while maybe forever i don’t know i thought it was too late for you but here they are they want to know where they can hang your star you wanted empty and i gave you more empty than you could stand and i’ll be right here where you left me in case you need me in time i ain’t goin’ nowhere
4.
i gotta tell you since i held you i never wanna see you go sit tight i’m coming by and you and i can go for a drive and ride around and listen to the radio oh it’s so easy everything’s so easy when i’m with you you make me feel like i’m a hundred years old you make me feel like i’m brand new oh it’s so easy i’ve got no trouble sleeping through the night i can see with your arms wrapped ‘round me oh you’re gonna make sure that i’m alright i gotta see you ‘cause i need to i’ve got to get you all alone yeah i’ve gotta have you all to myself i’m gonna have to call you up on the telephone oh it’s so easy you be the wolf and i’ll be the child all i need is you here by me won’t you sit down and talk to me for a while i gotta tell you since i held you i never wanna see you go yeah sit tight i’m coming by and you and i can go for a drive and ride around and listen to the radio
5.
i put on my red honeymoon lipstick and set my curls best as i could i’m gonna wrap myself in plastic and go and lay out in the woods i put breakfast on the table and i left the lunch in the pan the baby’s safe in the cradle and i’m about to get back to the land and nobody’s coming to look for me well nobody even asks me if i’m alright and now everybody’s ‘bout to find out how i’ve gone crazy but i don’t mind ‘cause i’ll be floatin’ with the angels come mornin’ light yeah i’m gonna tuck it all around my shoes i’m gonna tuck it all around my head i don’t want no critters gettin’ through to me until i’m good and dead and i can hear the creek ramblin’ as it makes its way to the gorge and it’s so sweet in my plastic sheet i can’t wait to meet the lord yeah and nobody’s coming to look for me well nobody even asks me if i’m alright and now everybody’s ‘bout to find out how i’ve gone crazy but i don’t mind ‘cause i’ll be floatin’ with the angels come mornin’ light well when i never made it home for supper ‘cause i was out lyin’ in my sunday dress somebody called the choppers and somebody called the press and now they’re coming out to comb the woods well they’ve got my picture and they’re hollering my name and now every available hound dog across the neighborhood has got his nose to the ground i can hear ‘em now they’re heading my way how long have you been lying here Lovetta why’d you go and leave your family all alone well a grown woman like you ought to know better than to leave that helpless man you married tryin’ to hush a fussy baby on his own so grab your things and pull yourself together we’ve called your sister she’s on the way she said to say to get your ass back home
6.
Got No Idea i get up at six and i work til six at night and all you do is bitch if your dinner ain’t fixed just right and i’ve got no idea how to make it good all i know’s i’ve got a man who ain't never treated me the way he should oh i got a man i do the best i can lord but what's a girl to do after she’s tried everything she could well you roll in so late you don’t tell me where you been you throw some water on your face and change your boots and roll out again and i’ve got no idea where it is you go all i know’s i’m getting tired of layin’ in this big old bed alone i’m so tired of puttin’ out my own fire lord but what’s a girl to do after her man quits comin’ home well i got the low down sad country blue afternoons i got the everything i had and threw away just to be with you’s and i’ve got no idea what makes you so mean all i know’s i got a man who ain’t never did a god damned thing for me no not a god damn thing but saddle me with this ring lord but what’s a girl to do when she ain’t got no other place to be
7.
i should just start drinking instead of thinking ‘bout you when you go i should start ramblin’ instead of gamblin’ on if you’ll be home i should start runnin’ just as fast as these wheels can spin ‘stead of wasting all my lovin’ on the same old thing again you told me i was nothin’ like i ain’t heard that before i ran into your cousin she was working at the dollar store she said you been layin’ with some girl in Bridgewater and that you been stayin’ in a sweet singlewide the county bought her i wasn’t bankin’ on forever even after all the sweet little things you said seems like the only time we manage to get together is when we get hell bent on tryin’ to set fire to this bed and i hate you for wantin’ me when i’m already low i hate you for lovin’ me when i’m already broke all this sleepin’ ‘round it wears me out and i don’t think that it’s enough to keep me from leaving this town before i get knocked up oh damn me for wantin’ something better damn me for leaving you behind the one memory that i won’t ever be able to shake’s the taste of your mouth on mine yeah it’s old milwaukee and marlboro reds and this town ain’t so bad if you take away the wind and the snow and if you see my stepdad well tell him where he can go if you see my mother don’t touch her just help her home from the bar cause if it’s noon on tuesday my brother needs the car oh still there's something about this place i feel it around my neck i feel it across my face yeah there's something about this town just like there’s something about the first man who tried to tear me down
8.
every time i open up my mouth i break her in two without even knowing every time i apologize i don’t realized I just tore somethin’ else wide open when she came sailin’ in she made my head spin and i was already so tired i gotta say it was better for me just to turn away than to try to stay and battle that thing inside her she’s too much for me she’s too much for me and i give up easy she’s too much for me she’s too many blues and greens she ain’t like nothin’ else i’ve seen heaven knows how many times she changed her clothes i just prayed to god she wouldn’t go nowhere dressed like that and when she did i swear i thought she was someone else’s she didn’t care how she was makin’ me so mad and i know she’s home alone but she’s almost grown now and i bet she’ll be alright besides i think i could stand to have just one more drink and try not to worry ‘bout the things that weigh heavy on my mind she’s too much for me she’s too much for me and i give up easy she’s too much for me she’s too many blues and greens she ain’t like nothin’ else i’ve seen i lost track and looking back i think it’s safe to say she got enough ‘sides what could i do with someone who’s been through all she’s been through and still somehow ain’t never run out of love
9.
we grew up in bars too young to have so many scars i leaned on you on account of this broken heart we found each other that summer that we lost my daddy’s farm even those were better days before we went our separate ways i caught the first train i found that was headed south while you hit bottle and hit the throttle and ricocheted around that town but we were side by side in the beginning and the one thing nobody told us about this race that neither one of us is ever winning yeah ‘cause the high road and the low road yeah they both go to the same place i heard about you on the news all the trouble you got yourself into well it’s a far cry from ridin’ to Sunny’s and hangin’ out in that shack on 20 and pissin’ away a sunday afternoon and Dave he offered me a job and i jumped at the chance to leave and somebody offered you a needle and all it wants to do is weasel its way back up your sleeve but we were side by side when we were little and the one thing nobody told us about the end that i’d lose sight of you somewhere in the middle half expecting to catch a glimpse of you somewhere up around the bend they told us we’d be forgotten yeah they told us we were low down and rotten they told the two of us that one day we’d die alone but i’ve got a man and a piece of land you’ve got yourself your methadone but we were side by side in the beginning yeah and the one thing nobody told us about this race neither one of us is ever winning yeah ‘cause the high road and the low road yeah they both go to the same place
10.
well i used to think about you when i was younger late at night when i was driving all alone i’d see you hangin’ on the shoulder not a single day older but i was lost i was tired and i was stoned and your name it don’t come up much in conversations anymore but you’ve been on my mind more often than not i wonder if anybody’s tryin to get out in the trees to find you are you somethin’ the universe forgot twenty-five years is a long time out in the ice and snow and you’re a stronger woman than me i can’t stand to be that cold yeah those mountains ain’t easy on the living and they’re damn unforgiving on the dead won’t you come home and tell us all about it Sara Anne well you’d hardly recognize this old town anymore it’s like the dairies all just dried up overnight year by year the city sprawl divvies up them all and you can see it any way you look from the flashing light old crew finished school grew up moved away and had babies and got married and divorced and each day on the way to work i still pass by that old church big red letters screamin’ jesus is lord yeah and i believe that less and less the older i get i won’t pray anymore to a lord that’s just gonna turn his back and i lost all use of the scriptures while lookin’ at your pictures on the exit ramp won’t you come home i hope i live long enough to see you on the news or get a knock at my door telling me you’re alright they just found you alive and i don’t have to wonder about Sara Anne no more well those mountains ain’t easy on the living and they’re damn unforgiving on the dead won’t you come home why don’t you just come on home won’t you come home and tell us all about it Sara Anne

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released October 29, 2021

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Janet Batch Ithaca, New York

One part Stevie Nicks, two parts Johnny Cash, singer-songwriter Janet Batch hails from New York’s Finger Lakes region, writing and recording songs inspired by working-class life. Some anthemic, some heartbreaking, many songs harken back to the hardscrabble stories of her youth in the Rust Belt. She fronts a 4-piece band whose sound is reminiscent of seventies and eighties country radio. ... more

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